The Line between Ugly Truth and Mean-Spiritedness

by Daniella Nicole

Those who cherish truth understand that it is not always pretty. As humans, we are prone to do things that are not kind, compassionate or honest, at times. When others refer to these things, they are speaking the truth about us – as ugly as it may be. Part of being an honest person entails taking responsibility for those ugly truths that apply to who we are, past or present.

However, there is a distinct difference between an ugly truth and downright mean-spiritedness. Truth is based in fact. Mean-spiritedness can contain elements of truth in it, but it is always accompanied by something more. There is always a seed of contentiousness mixed in. When labeling, name-calling, humiliation, hate, jealousy, pettiness, hostility or any other type of negativity are present, the line has been crossed from presenting an ugly truth to displaying sheer mean-spiritedness.

There can be great purpose behind presenting ugly truths. There is none, other than being ugly, in being mean-spirited. Ugly truths say something about the person to whom they refer. Mean-spiritedness only speaks about the person being so. If you truly feel it is relevant to share an ugly truth about someone, the focus should logically be on truth and fact – not opinion, not spin and not humiliation. If you find yourself launching into character assassination, perhaps the character you should be reviewing is your own.

Is Honesty Always the Best Policy?

Image via Wikipedia I was commenting elsewhere about my mom being killed by a drunk driver, and it got me thinking about various aspects of the case. One of the things that struck me was how on the one hand I was given total access to the police reports, witness accounts, coroner's report, photos, etc. (An off-duty officer witnessed the incident). On the other hand, I was told multiple times by multiple people, unsolicited, that my mother 'died instantly' and 'didn't suffer'.

The truth is, she died a horrific death and did NOT die instantly.

So, the question becomes, is it better to create a lie or to tell the truth? It ticked me off to no end that I was lied to. I never asked if my mom suffered, or if she died instantly, yet others decided to tell me that 'pretty little lie' despite some of them knowing I had copies of all the reports and photos. Maybe they thought I wouldn't look at any of it, or maybe it was just 'habit' for them to say those empty words to people who have lost a loved one.

I compartmentalize, so for me, lies upset me far more than truth. I can deal with truth - I can review it and work with it and get past it. Lies are another story. Trying to work past the lies frustrates me - I am a person who prefers to deal in truth - even when it hurts. I think lies do far more damage than the truth ever could, anyway.

So, let's supposed I was not the type to compartmentalize. I get told (unsolicited) that my mother didn't suffer, and died instantly. I feel relief and peace that she went quickly and peacefully. Then I go to court or read the reports - WHAM! Suddenly I am hit in the face with the harsh cold reality that she died horribly and not immediately. I would be shattered!

I now give the floor to you: where are you in the truth/lie issue? This isn't about right or wrong - this is just about how other people view it and handle it.

Finding Truth on the Campaign Trail: Which Statements are True and Which are False?

With the latest reports coming out about candidates lying about various issues, its difficult to know what is just political bashing with no basis, and what is verifiable fact.

A few examples may be found in this short video clip from FoxNews with a contributing reporter/researcher to Politifact.Com:



For more information about fact and fiction from and about the candidates, check out Politifact.Com from the St. Petersburg Times/CQ.